Sunday, June 15, 2008

Movie Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

WARNING: This movie review may contains spoilers. This is probably because the movie wasn't worth seeing, so go ahead and read it.
The movie, overall, was absolute tripe. The beginning was week, and that probably explains why the guy two chairs down from me fell asleep. I did sort of like the artistic entrance of Indiana at the start, because it really conveyed that whole, "Yeah, 20 years have gone by and he's a geezer now, but Indiana Jones is still kicking butt" sort of deal. But then, the Russian KGB was introduced. This was not cool. As far as I'm concerned, Indiana Jones fights Nazis and only Nazis. And then it got worse with cheesy lines. It finally started picking up a little bit, and then the middle of the movie was really not half bad, but it kind of had hints that it was going to decline when this KGB woman reveals that the crystal skull (oh yeah, the good Dr. Jones found that inside the first hour or so of the movie) is the skull of a space alien. A SPACE ALIEN. I cannot emphasize how much Indiana Jones is not supposed to have ANYthing whatsoever to do with space aliens. Anyway, there were a couple of pretty good chase scenes, and then it comes time for Indiana Jones to return this skull to where it needs to be or something. So he places the skull on top of this alien skeleton (because there's a whole room full of them under this lost Aztec city *rollmyeyes*) and then it comes to life, along with the rest of the aliens. The KGB guys get sucked away into an INTERDIMENSIONAL VORTEX and then these aliens take off in a FLYING SAUCER. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THIS IS NOT INDIANA JONES! THIS IS GEORGE LUCAS MOURNING THE DEATH OF STAR WARS!
So, I did over simplify some elements of the movie, just in case you still want to see it, but that's the movie overall. It was lousy, that's really all there is to it. If you want to complete the set so you can have all 4 movies, that's your deal, but it was not worth 2 hours of my life. I give it 1.5/4 stars. The good parts aren't enough to compensate for a REALLY bad ending. More reviews as I see more movies!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

That sounds absolutely Dreadful.
George Lucas needs to retire now. He can't do anything original anymore, I saw a preview for some horrific CARTOON movie of the clone wars!

Kill me.

Cletus said...

I liked that cartoon Clone Wars, actually. George didn't have a lot to do with it except characters. That was all the doing of Genndy Tartakovsky, maker of Samurai Jack. And, no, I love you too much to kill you :-P